2020 is finally over. In the year that felt like a decade and also a day all at once, we can now look back on it with some distance. Not much yet, but every day we’re inching closer to some sense of understanding (probably).
In the meanwhile, so many plans were put on hold, abandoned, or reimagined. It might feel a little disorienting to imagine what’s next. For this reason, not as many people made resolutions this year.
I actually stopped making them years ago and settled on core desired feelings via the teachings of The Desire Map (affiliate link).
Doing this yearly helps me embrace my own personal flow, I often go slowly, until suddenly when I’m really ready to be productive I can speed through things because I’ve given myself all I needed to fully synthesize what I was aiming to share or produce.
This was never so clear as when I applied this technique to dating. It wasn’t this technique alone, but this along with various teachings I’d latched myself to…specifically and especially that of Alison Armstrong (insert pretend affiliate link. These things I promote because I need more people to know about these things, more than I need the kickback that sometimes comes from it).
What I really want you to know especially if you grew up worrying about money, or sacrificing yourself for others, is you might need a paradigm shift like I did to learn how to invest in yourself. These two companies I’ve just told you about are some of my first ventures in investing in myself and 6 years later they are still super relevant in my life. They each helped me claim my worth and joy in myself, to stop looking for external validation. I look to these companies regularly for their offerings all these years later.
There are few things I love more than a good purchase. This got me thinking about some of the terrible purchases I’ve made in the past. Especially when I was younger. My aunt once gave me around 1 thousand dollars to have a shopping spree when I was 13. It was extremely generous but also a bit reckless.
I gave my energy to the idea that if I had specific clothes it would make my life better, it would make people see me the way I wanted to be seen…it didn’t. A few months after my shopping spree I moved to a different school where my style was received completely differently. It wasn’t about the clothes, specifically. It was the idea that spending money, buying something specific was going to change my life.
Anytime I’ve invested in myself it wasn’t the purchase itself, it was what I did with the purchase that changed my life. Investing in yourself isn’t just buying anything you want. It’s buying something (usually something you either feel you shouldn’t buy because you shouldn’t need help with that or should do it on your own or that scares you to buy because it’s going to make you accountable to something and remove the ability to make excuses) that helps you work more on the thing you already needed to work on.
Investing in yourself usually comes in a few different types of packages.
It’s usually either:
a class, course, or training
counseling, coaching, or mentoring
upgrading or fixing something you’ve lived with as is long enough to be used to it
replacing something lost or stolen from you
experiencing something or going somewhere that requires you to do something outside of your ordinary existence (for most people that wouldn’t include relaxing, but for some it might)
My intention for this year is to invest in dreams. I’ve spent the past 6 years making sure I invested in myself in the areas I knew I had deficits in. I know I’m not done with that, but now it’s also time to invest in my dreams. I’ve made it far but I’m not quite at a spiritual equilibrium. That’s my deep desire.
Work for me is about a spiritual purpose. My desire is that my work/my purpose is aligned with my spiritual gifts and needs. While my priorities in life are parenting and my personal life, I want my professional life to also reflect my true desires. I know my path, I just need to consistently work towards them.
I’ve been on my path for quite a while but I’ve never been in a flow-state. I was either massively ambitious or woefully absent. As a creative person absence isn’t great. It’s only my expectations and knowledge of how to do things from a state of great ambition that made me sit it out when I merely needed to take a step back, reassess and commit to a more casual approach.
Flexibility is a must, but so often we more on what we can achieve, produce and finish than how we can continue to connect. My daughter’s favorite phrase is to “get it over with”. How often do you try to get something over with or get it done and how do you recuperate when life throws you something that prevents that from happening how or when you wanted? Can you continue to connect without allowing the “done” anvil to hang over your head?
I know that consistency comes from living in purpose and sustainability. I mean emotional, economic, and logistical sustainability. I know that comes with community and optimal communication. It’s not just about doing the things, it’s about planning, intention, that flow between my family life-my internal relationship with myself, and the person I share with the world, both professionally and personally. It’s about the environment I live in and co-create with the people around me.
If you have yet to truly invest in yourself, I invite you to look for opportunities to do that this year. I invite you to search with your heart and eradicate any fear standing in the way. I invite you to slowly explore the possibilities of any investment you’re considering rather than quickly getting swept up in making a decision.
Spend a week going over an aspect, every day, talk to people who’ve made the same decision. Speak to the person you’re considering purchasing from and let them know your concerns, interests, and needs. Write a pros and cons list in your journal.
Consider if you have the time to invest in the thing after you invest in the thing. Do you have the time to spend doing the work (because all true investments require work)? Don’t start a bunch of things at once if you’re low on time. Invest in one thing at a time, even if you think you have just enough time. Investments tend to take a lot more emotional energy than you might imagine.
If it’s an investment, it’s going to push us and that’s going to trigger a response to push back. In order to really shift it’s going to take some time to take things in, to sit with a new viewpoint, and let it settle before you can integrate or take the next step.
Can this be an investment into your professional life? yes.
Business? Yes! (After some years of diy’ing everything in online business, I invested in a professional network and business coaching from ittybiz)
Education? Yes! (This is an easy one for me. I could go to school forever.)
Relationships? Yes! (Again Alison Armstrong’s work has been a pillar for me to learn from)
Physical Health? Yes! (buying organic food online from Misfits( click for 25% off for us both) or directly from farms, as well as natural treatments means I don’t have to rely on pharmaceuticals that come with side effects I don’t want and never quite help enough with the symptoms I started with; midwife/doula…definitely!)
Mental Health/Wellness? Yes! (buying a guitar for myself after leaving previous guitars on the other side of the country after leaving an abusive relationship was a necessity, also books, counseling, and coaching)
It could be anything that will lead you towards any long-held dreams you have. Are you going to invest in yourself this year? Let me know when, let me know how, let me know why…let me know if you need help deciding. I’ve already let you know you already have permission to invest in you. If you comment and subscribe I’ll respond to you personally and invite you to be featured to my many audiences across the internet.
Well, I’m now the mom of a mostly predictable nearly 4-month-old and I have no excuses but to get back to this newsletter and after having so much time off, I’m so excited to be back and I have so much to share!
If you’re a parent interested in educating your kid with using a Montessori-based, project-based, diversity-based, soft skills centric community find my other newsletter here: https://karmayogavillage.substack.com
May 2021 hold your dreams dear and help them unfold slowly and surely,
Mera Baid
P.S. What I’m listening to: