Self-care is such a buzz word it almost carries no meaning. But that’s only if you’re there for the buzz. Let’s move past that.
Radical self-care is my jam (after every song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend!). After I left the abusive relationship I was in for most of my 20s I learned that I needed more than basic self-care. I’d been caring for myself prior to leaving but did everything get undone easily after I left…YES! OF COURSE!
So radical self-care, yes. That’s what I needed. I meditated with mantras for months at a time, I woke up early, I took cold showers, I journaled consistently (obsessively), I made myself the cleanest foods I could find. I was a fun mom. I was so fun (this is easier the younger your kids are).
But I had a lot of healing to do. I lost most of my friendships through the course of my relationship. I lost a lot of connection with family too and my professional reputation— I can’t imagine that was helped much either.
So what is self-care when you’re healing from trauma?
When you’re a single parent?
When you have mental health struggles?
When you’re isolated?
When you’re lonely?
What is it as a stay-at-home, work-at-home, homeschooling parent?
When you’re dating for the first time in your 30s?
When you’re in a new relationship and you really don’t know what a healthy relationship is?
When you’re pregnant?
When you haven’t yet figured out you need to leave your abusive relationship or maybe you don’t know if your relationship is abusive you just know it hurts a lot…
…what is self-care then and is it enough?
Many years ago I had a few blogs, a web forum, a larger email list, and several facebook groups and pages full of internet faces I typed to all the time. I created a community around this radical self-care thing. I called it ecstatic living. I even did some of this stuff in person when the internet began to wear me out.
Why ecstatic living? Because I feel that some of us need more than just self-care, we need to learn to default to bliss. Sometimes we need to relearn something more than just the standard way of being in order to move on and move forward in life. Sometimes what’s waiting in the past is so powerful we need to build a golden bridge to get to the yellow-brick road on the other side. We need to make an extremely clear distinction between then and now.
I believe creative people need this most of all. I’m a very creative person, I’m a very free-spirited person. I don’t say this to brag. I don’t think it’s a better way to be than someone less creative or more disciplined. That’s just not how I am.
If you’re like me, I invite you to join my Ecstatic Living challenge. I’ll do this only on subscriber posts. When I have enough subscribers I’ll begin the Ecstatic Living Challenge. It’s been a few years but I can’t wait and I’m so happy I don’t need to go back to Facebook to do it!
If you’re not interested in the Ecstatic Living challenge still let your network know it’s happening. There may be someone you know who needs it as I did all those years ago (and again)!
And I’ll see you twice a month (3-4x if you’re a subscriber).
P.S. I have a group for moms too that’s a little different than the ecstatic living but similar. It’s called the Sistirring Collective for Feminine Free-Spirited Mom Flow, check it out.
P.S.S. What I’m listening to right now: